Frank's Journal

	On Scottish Home Stay and September 11th
	11:59pm

STIRLING, SCOTLAND, UK - I ended up sleeping in and Alison had to call my hotel room before I woke up. I was supposed to be in the hotel lobby at 10:00 AM and didn't get the call until 10:10 AM. I literally threw everything into my bag and ran out the door. No shower, no clean underwear, not even a chance to brush my teeth.

We went on a trip to the Scottish History Museum, which was really cool. The tour guide pointed out a few objects of interest dating from before the Romans, all the way through industrialization. After the tour we went out onto the roof top which was a really great view of Edinburgh. Some of us sat up there for a while soaking up the sun and chatting.

At 12:15 PM we needed to be in the foyer to go to lunch. We walked over to this nice restaurant and sat down to lunch. I got to talk to Kathy more and she's really cool. Everyone had a choice between a salad, a pork chop, or a sirloin steak. Almost everyone chose the steak, but some people who did ended up with a weird surf 'n turf thing. It was beef stuffed with shrimp. It looked really bad, but luckily I got a real sirloin steak.

We went back to the hotel, picked up all our luggage and got on the bus to go to Stirling where our home stay was going to be. I was kind of nervous because I didn't really know what kind of family I would get. It turns out it was nice fellow by the name of Ronnie McClelland. We had a nice traditional Scottish dinner, mince and tatties, and we just watched television.

I really didn't have much to say and what sort of made things worse was that we were watching a September 11th documentary made by two French guys. I ended up just sitting there watching it and not talking, hoping that Mr. McClelland would understand.

-Frank

	On Edinburgh Castle and Finnegan's Wake
	11:59pm

EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, UK - This morning we had orientation in one of the conference rooms of the hotel. It was really nice and we had a coffee and tea break as well as a lunch break which was really cool. While the Stirling kids were meeting with their contact, us Glasgow kids decided to head across the street to the train station to check our email.

We got back in time for the lunch break and after that we went on an open bus tour of Edinburgh. That finished early afternoon and then we headed up to Edinburgh castle. Alison just left us there and we wandered around the castle and the town for a bit. They mentioned Adam Smith's grave was in this one graveyard but I couldn't find the tombstone. James, Tom and I ended up having dinner at a little pub where James told us about how he learned that if the coin tap on the Guinness cup was a clink, not a clunk, then it was ready to drink.

After that we went down to the hotel and met up for the walk over to the theatre where we were going to see a play called "Playboy of the Western World." We were told it was going to be a comedy, but it turned out it was a tragedy.... While we were waiting though, I met a cool girl in the group named Genevieve.

Afterwards, we went around looking for a pub and we found one called Finnegan's Wake. While Tom, Sam, James and I we were in there talking a couple girls at the bar overheard us and turned around really quick to snap a picture of the Americans. How weird.

After we all had a last shot, we went up to High Road and found a little chips bar. I got a fish and chips and it was so good. Probably because I had been drinking, though. We headed back to Finnegan's Wake again because there wasn't much else to do and we saw Erin, Kathy and Jeff. They had just gotten to the bar and they met this guy named Derek who apparently owns a bar in Dublin named River Club. His wife told us all we have to do is go up to the bouncer at the door, tell them that we met Derek in Scotland, and he'll let us in.

-Frank

	On Edinburgh
	11:59pm

EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND, UK - I took off on what was the 8th of September but landed in the UK on the 9th. I've been traveling for over 15 hours. I had to go from San Francisco to Chicago to London to Edinburgh. The flight to Chicago wasn't bad, but American Airlines just isn't as good as Japan Airlines. Their idea of lunch was "Bistro Bags" that you had to pick up before you got on the plane. What crap.

On the way to London, I had the misfortune of sitting next to an obnoxious little muslim kid who kept playing with the lights while I tried to sleep. I ended up watching "Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood". Oh God....

The London Heathrow airport was so small and crowded, but I didn't really care. I was enjoying being in another country. It doesn't seem like Britain would be so different from America but the smallest things are so intriguing.

On the flight to Edinburgh though, they asked me if I wanted a biscuit. And I thought "Hmm, a chocolate biscuit. That sounds interesting." It turns out it was just a cookie.

When I got into Edinburgh I had to take a taxi to the hotel, Jury's Inn. I ended up with a single which was pretty cool, but I didn't have any idea where I was and the architecture was amazing. On top of that, I had no idea what the taxi cab driver was saying. I could only make out bits and pieces. I felt so weird because I had no idea how to do the simplest things like queue for a taxi.

I was supposed to meet the rest of the Arcadia group in the lobby at 5:00 PM but I lost track of time and ended up being 10 minutes late. It was so weird because nobody knew anybody and it was big group of 14 people but no one was talking. We all walked over to this little pizza place called Pizza Express and had a nice informal dinner. I got to know Alison, our program coordinator, Lindsay who is going to be at Glasgow, and Barrett who was going to be at Stirling University. It turns out there are only four of us in the pre-session for Glasgow.

-Frank

	On My Last Night in the US
	11:59pm

I was supposed to have dinner with Bbora tonight, but Grandma wanted to have dinner with me and my grandmother comes first so Bbora and I arranged to go for desert after dinner. Grandma, Dad, Connie, Jennifer and I went to China Stix on El Camino. I had some more Chinese food and I was so full.

I called up Bbora after dinner and we tried to go to La Fondue for desert, but they don't seat for desert on the weekends. Instead we went over to the Elephant Bar. We made it just in time because the kitchen was closing down. Her boyfriend Minh was there, but she drags him everywhere. I prefer that he's not there because I barely know the guy and I don't feel like I can talk freely around him.

I went back to finish up packing and Brian came over with John and we chatted for a while while my mom was yelling at me to get to bed. I didn't finish packing until 3:00 AM.

-Frank

	On My Going Away Barbecue
	11:59pm

I spent the last two weeks talking Brian through his problems with ChiaLu and getting ready for my barbecue.

My barbecue was awesome. Some people came who I didn't think would come and some people didn't come who I thought would. The total guest count was somewhere around 24 or 25 I think. I don't have it with me right now, but my first big party was a success I think, even though I had tons of food and alcohol left over. Almost everybody was there. The Macy's crew and even some Delta Omicron people. It was good although the Macy's crew didn't really talk to anybody.

We had hamburgers, chicken, and these awesome Lousiana sausages. Everyone was late showing up except Freecia and her cousin Tom who both showed up at 4:00 PM. I started barbecuing and the smoke from the barbecue kept flying over the tables so we had to move them onto the lawn. More and more people showed up and people were playing Playstation 2 and then we made mudslides. Everything started winding down around 11:00 PM and the people left were nice enough to help me clean up, even though it wasn't really necessary.

Yesterday Kalyan called me up, now that he was back from vacation and wanted to talk about the whole situation. So we did and he said he apologizes for being petty. I told him that I wasn't ready to forgive him yet, but one interesting thing I got out of our conversation was that Kalyan and Drew intended to leave me behind and go down to San Diego without me. Kalyan had suggested I would've done the same if our situations were reversed, which really made me laugh. The whole thing sounded like a last ditch effort to get an invitation to my barbecue, but it did show me how little they thought of me as a friend, though and now I'm quite sure that I don't want either of them as one.

-Frank

	On Jasmine's Virthday Party and Two Way Streets
	5:35pm

Jasmine had her birthday party in San Francisco at the Thirsty Bear. I didn't get her anything, so I bought her a few drinks instead since it was her 21st.

On the way up to the city, I got stuck in traffic so it took me two hours to get there. After dinner, I went to go get my car but found that the garage had closed at 9:00 PM so I have to come back tomorrow to get it.

That aside, we decided to hit a bar called Jillian's in the Metreon. It wasn't too crowded and it seemed pretty chill. The pool tables were free too as long as you were drinking. I met Frank's friend Sabrina who is really cool. Apparently she and Frank hang out with a lot of gay guys, which is totally cool. I totally want to hang out with them, but I'm leaving for Scotland in a week.

When I got home, I called up Brian to ask him if he could take me up to the city tomorrow to get my car. He said maybe. When I asked him why he said that he might have to take his car to the shop tomorrow because they were waiting for a special part or something and when it comes in apparently he has to go in right away or he'll totally miss his chance to fix his car.

Mom was listening to our conversation and asked me why I was so ready to let his girlfriend stay at my house if he wouldn't even give me a ride into the city. I sort of agreed with her, but Brian was right on the phone so I couldn't say anything.

It got me thinking about how much I do for other people and if I really am too good a friend to people who don't deserve it. After all, Kalyan and Drew did just assume that I was going to drive to San Diego when they hadn't asked me at all. I'm going to watch myself more carefully in the future.

-Frank

	On Poker Night and Sad Little John
	11:59pm

Shane and Sarah are back in town, and I missed them both the last time they were here because I was on vacation. The thing was that they were having poker night at Shane's house and Drew was there so they weren't sure if I wanted to come or not. I wanted to go and see Shane and Sarah, so I went. I think some people there were a little weary about what was going to happen because its the first time Drew and I have seen each other since the whole thing happened on July 23rd.

I went there and Drew said hi, so I said hi. Poker night was a lot of fun, and I think Drew was trying to strike up conversations with me. The last few times I questioned whether or not it was worth having him as a friend I went against my better judgment and gave him another chance. I wasn't about to make the same mistake again, but at the same time I didn't blatantly radiate hate.

Afterward, we just sat around and talked for a while and Sarah gave Shane a boob squish. Brian's cousin John was saying things like "I'm gay. Can I get a boob squish?". It was kind of sad and I was reminded of how lame high schoolers are.

-Frank

	On Parental Advice
	11:59pm

I went to Jasmine's BBQ today. I hadn't really called her since I got back from vacation, but when I did she told me she moved into her new pad and was having a barbecue. It was pretty fun, I met a lot of cool people and hung out with Edmund and stuff, but then I got a call from Brian as we were leaving to go see "xXx".

ChiaLu's father had hit her, so she left the house and now she needed a place to stay. I spent a while on the phone talking with Brian about ChiaLu's situation and the divorce her parents are going through. I told Brian that I would ask my mother if I she stay at me house. After the movie, I went home and I called me dad for advice because I've never had to deal with a situation like this before.

He told me that he knows I want to help, but the best thing is probably for me to stay out of it. It wasn't the answer that I wanted to hear so I went home and asked my mother, too and she gave me the same advice. Both parents were against me, so I had no choice. It was their house, not mine so I had to tell Brian that she couldn't stay here. He said he found a place for her at Gordon's so that was good, at least. I spent long time on the phone with Brian, too talking it out and helping him through it.

-Frank

	On Backfired Plans to Eliminate Drama
	11:59pm

Over the past couple of days, I've had a few conversations with people (namely Brian, Shane and James) over what happened on Tuesday and the implications it has for the group. They feel like they might be caught in the middle and have to pick either me or Drew and KDawg to be friends with, and I told them all that it wasn't the case. I wouldn't get mad if they hung out with Drew and Kalyan because they can choose who they're friends with, I don't have any say in that but at the same time don't get in the middle and make us be friends again because in the same respect, *I* choose who *my* friends are.

Well today, the attempt to reduce drama in my life has backfired. Specifically with Lindsay. Tomorrow she is having a lunch because she is leaving for the east coast soon and she wants to see everyone there. She asked me to go and I told her I would go, but that Drew was going to be there too. That didn't bother me, but she said it would be rude to not talk to him and Kalyan and how I was being unreasonable and putting the whole group in the middle of my "childish argument". (Side note: I told her that I didn't like being called childish and her response to that was "I call them like I see them." cute.) She kept portraying herself like some sort of victim, even though I told her I didn't care if she was friends with them but that asking me to talk to someone I didn't like is something she had no right to ask of me.

I told her I want to go, but I wouldn't go if she didn't want me to and she said she didn't want me to if I didn't talk to Kalyan or Drew. Basically what she said was something like "I feel like I have to choose, even though you won't get mad. All this is your fault and you need to do something about it."

I think she's trying to use herself as leverage to get us to be friends again and I don't want her to do that because it will lead to bad things, broken friendships, and more drama. If I have to give up Lindsay to eliminate drama from my life, then I guess that's the price I have to pay. I already felt like I was being really generous in the conversation so I'm not sure exactly what is going to happen between me and Lindsay, especially since we have bad history.

-Frank

	On No More Drama In My Life
	11:59pm

Okay, this is going to be a long entry.

Tonight I was playing Tetrinet with Drew, Kalyan, and James and we got into a discussion over how Drew, Kalyan and I were getting down to San Diego to visit Shane this weekend. Kalyan wanted me to pick up Drew (go South) take him up to his house (North, past my house to Livermore) and then drive everyone down to San Diego.

Somewhere along the planning of this trip it was assumed that I would be driving everyone, and I didn't even know that I was going until yesterday. So apparently Kalyan had decided on a plan for the trip without consulting the appointed driver who never volunteered to drive. I had to pick everyone up, drive them over to his house which was in the wrong direction, spend the night there and then drive everyone down. So I said no and I told him that 1) I didn't want to spend the night at his house because his house has a strong smell, my clothes always come back smelling like his house and I didn't want to smell like then when I went down to San Diego and 2) he should meet me half way and take BART to the Fremont station in the morning.

So Kalyan began a hissy fit because he felt I had personally insulted him by saying that his house had a strong odor, which I could understand. He asked me to apologize for being unreasonable, and I told him no. But I did apologize right there for not being as tactful as I could have been. Apparently this wasn't enough and he kept insisting that I drive up to Livermore to pick him up in the morning.

At this point Drew butted in and said something like "Heaven forbid either of you should compromise." And it was then that I told them that I wasn't happy about driving down to San Diego because I didn't want the mileage on my car and I didn't want to drive. More arguing ensued as they tried to force me to drive until Kalyan apologized for being petty, which (though he said otherwise) seemed like a ploy to get me to drive. Shortly after that, conversation stopped in the middle of the argument.

After about ten minutes of waiting, I guessed that Kalyan and Drew were talking on the phone about what an ass I was or something like that so I decided to message people and talk while I was waiting for them to actually talk to me to resolve the situation.

I messaged Shane but he told me he was just about to head out the door so he couldn't talk. So then I messaged James, who had witnessed the entire argument. He told me that he, Drew, Kalyan, and Shane were all on the phone and they were talking about me. I was starting to get angry now because they had ditched me to call each other up and talk shit about me. So I messaged to Kalyan "If you want to talk about me, talk to me about it. Don't call up three other people and talk shit about me."

He responded "I'll be honest and admit that we were talking about you, but now we're talking about how we're getting down to San Diego." I thought that was a pretty lame excuse unless they had decided to ditch me in San Jose. It was here where I became so mad that I told them I never wanted to speak to them again. Kalyan and Drew called up two other people to talk about me, and Shane who told me he was going out was instead on the phone with them talking about me. It sounds cheesy, but it was at that point that I decided that I would eliminate Drew and Kalyan from my life because all they brought was needless drama into it. I'm going to call up Shane and confront him about what happened because I'm mad at him, too.

-Frank

	On the San Francisco AIDS Walk
	11:59pm

Today was the San Francisco AIDS Walk. I never usually do things like that, but I decided I would try to. Kalyan went up with his friends so me, Drew and James drove up in my car. We ended up parking at San Francisco State and walked down to Golden Gate Park. The walk itself was harder than I expected, but I got my little sticker that says I finished the walk. I raised about $50 too, which I thought was pretty good for a last minute entry.

We kept running into this guy who I think was trying to be our friend or something. He was kind of creepy so we sort of tried to avoid him. Other than that, there were free Odwalla bars which kind of tasted like shit expect for the fruit ones. And I got this fat tan line on my neck now because I forgot to put on sunblock.

We thought about going to the Obon Festival on the way back home, but I got way too tired. Sorry James.

-Frank

	On the Obon Festival
	11:59pm

Today was the Obon Festival at Jay's Buddhist temple in Mountain View. I asked Drew to pick me up because I didn't feel like driving and my house in on the way from his to Mountain View anyways. We got there pretty early, but when we arrived they were still setting up and we were three hours too early. So Drew and I tried to call James to let him know that the festival didn't start for three hours but we couldn't get through. We decided to go to Safeway instead to get some lunch since we had basically starved ourselves so we could eat some Japanese food.

We finally got through to James so we headed over to his house to hang out for a while until KDawg arrived and the festival actually opened. When we all went there (Me, Drew, KDawg, James, and Freecia) it was pretty cool. We went around doing the usual things, eating tempura, shaved ice, corn on the cob, and playing bingo. We went and looked at the flower arranging exhibit which was pretty cool, but that only occupied us for about three minutes. We spent the rest of the time hanging out on the lawn and chatting. I didn't win anything this time at bingo, either.

-Frank

	On Stacy's Birthday Party
	11:59pm

Not much happened today. I woke up late, read the news a little and watched a stupid movie called "King's Guard". I made a few journal entries, too and then went over to Grandma's for dinner. I stayed there longer than I usually do because I'm trying to spend as much time with her as I can before I leave for Scotland.

I went into the city tonight to go to Stacy's birthday party. Stacy is the girl I met at the Delta Sigma Pi Western Regional Initiation in Reno. She's from the Delta Omicron chapter at San Francisco State. We've gotten to be friends and I met some of her friends in DO. Her party was at a little karaoke bar in Japantown called Sonics. Everyone was smoking in there, even though its illegal to smoke in a bar in California. We had a few rounds of drinks, but none of the other Delta Omicron people were really talking to me and I sort of felt out of place. They did invite me to a Greek party, though. I'm not sure if I'm going to go.

-Frank

	On How Looks Matter
	11:59pm

I woke up early but ended up doing nothing except playing Axis and Allies against myself. I fell asleep at sometime during the day and didn't wake up until night time. I made myself some sushi, and then Shane called me.

He had been having a little romantic interest in a guy named Scott who I met over Memorial Day weekend. I don't remember much about him though, but Shane and he decided to break it off because Scott was trying to really focus on his career now and he didn't have enough time for both a guy and a career, especially since he would likely have to move to a different city to start it.

Somehow we ended up on the topic of appearances and how they do matter, even though we like to think that they don't. I think its a nice ideal to try to live up to, but everyone should realize that appearances really do matter to people, even if it doesn't to you. Take for example a job interview. If a guy with green hair and thirteen nose piercings comes in for a managerial clerk job and just a regular guy in a suit who are equally qualified, who would you hire? And what's sad, but true, is that good looking people do have it a little easier in life. Its not the best of things, but it is natural. Everyone has given someone some sort of break because they found them attractive, whether it was buying them a drink or getting hired for a job. So why shouldn't we work out and get plastic surgery to look better? It does matter, just don't make it the only good thing about your person.

-Frank

	On Spending More Time with Grandma
	11:59pm

I am so jet lagged, I didn't wake up today until 3:30 PM. I went out to go buy sashimi though in my renewed effort to lose weight. I ended up gaining five pounds on my vacation.

Aunt Jennifer came down to visit Grandma today, so I went over there for dinner. She told me that Grandma went to see the doctor and the doctor said that her condition was very serious. Some fluid had been building in her lungs and with her already weakened state, she is in a very precarious situation. So I'm going to start spending more time with Grandma over the next few days, especially since I'll be leaving for Scotland in a month or so.

After dinner, I went over to Lindsay's house and hung out with Drew, Kalyan and Lindsay. They went into the hot tub, but I didn't bring trunks with me so I just sat on the bench and chatted with them. I thought it was really odd that no one really wanted to know about my vacation. It was more like token politeness than real interest, especially since the entire conversation on my vacation lasted less than two minutes.

-Frank

	On Bad History and Jet Lag
	11:59pm

SAN JOSE, CA - Woke up at 11:41 AM. We checked out of the hotel and barely made it onto the bus heading for the Airport. Dad almost put us onto the bus going to the Haneta Airport instead of the Narita Airport. We just on time, otherwise we would've had to wait an hour for the next one.

After we got to the airport, we just hung around for a bit and had some lunch at one of the cafes. I had a locks and bagel. After I finished that I headed over to the internet cafe next door and chatted online for a bit with friends. It's good to know that I won't be seeing Connie for a while because she was heading back to China to spend the rest of the summer with her family.

Our flight was delayed an hour, but we headed over to the boarding area and said goodbye to Connie because our flight was in a different terminal. In flight, I watched "John Q", and "Big Fat Liar". There weren't any other movies they were offering that I wanted to see so I just broke out Fellowship of the Ring and started reading. It would've been a perfect flight except the guy in front of me farted at least three times and loud babies were crying everywhere. At least there were free snacks, though. I stashed a shitload of those into my backpack.

I also had a lot of time to think about the situation with Drew. I decided that I would give it one more try to be friends again, even though its been rocky for the past year or so. It all started when Drew started getting upset that I didn't call him as much and he took that to mean that our friendship wasn't as close as it used to be. He also told me that he felt resentful that I told Shane about 'boy problems' in my life, but not him and how he felt like I ditched him as a friend. I think we worked past that, but bad history is always hard to forget.

When we got to San Francisco International, Dad hadn't arranged for anyone to pick us up, so he called his employee Paul to come pick us up. We had to wait there for forty minutes as he drove up from San Jose. I wasn't in any mood to wait because I really wanted to be home. At least the cool wind felt really really good, though.

On the way back, I stopped at Grandma's house to say hi, but then I went straight home to take a nap. The first things I did when I woke up was eat, watch TV, played Neverwinter Nights and watched the Phantom Menace. I was up until 7:30 AM because of jet lag.

-Frank